Whenever I start a post, the feeling of self-consciousness overtakes me. And then I find myself having trouble touching the keyboard. My hands just hover.
I remember this feeling – when I was young and handwriting a journal entry; I felt this same feeling of exposure. It’s absolutely true that in my case that starting is the most difficult part of doing anything… I’m also a bit lazy. (Has this become a confessional post?)
Enough with me talking about my embarrassment.
The baby girl is moving in my body at this very moment. It’s the oddest sensation. I think of two things with which I can compare the sensation. The first feeling is this: when I’m in a relaxed position, I’ll lift my foot and land its heel on the ground. It doesn’t hurt, rather there is that dull thudding sensation in the foot resulting from the weight making impact. The other feeling of what I’m reminded is when my eye twitches involuntarily. It happens randomly and is beyond my control. Combine the two ideas and there you have it – how I feel when this baby kicks inside my body. Interesting, no? I thought I’d be nauseated by the thought of another being inhabiting my body, but I’ve been surprised so far as how fortunate and how easy it has been for me to adapt to the changes in my body.
When the feelings of the baby kicking manifested itself, it actually felt both normal and foreign. She arose from microscopic combination of cells and now she’s apparently nearly a foot long. I have been wondering what or who she will look like and what kind of personality she will have.