I just hate it when I get sick. I definitely hate it when people around me get sick because it increases the probability of my getting sick. But not to be a complete a-hole, I also commisserate and feel bad when other people feel sick because the experience is demoralising.
Last month I had a horrible stomach issues. Whether it was a stomach flu, a case of food poisoning or a hangover + some other bug, I don’t know. What I do know is that I was laid out for the entire weekend and had no energy to eat a morsel or to walk around, and even sleep was almost tortuous.
The thing I can’t seem to understand is how the state of one’s body so affects the mind. I recall getting sprained ankles and feeling utterly frustrated and sad over the limits that my injury caused me. Devastated almost. I remember vaguely the last time I caught some sort of flu or cold that turned into a sinus infection, and how it had lasted nearly over a month. During that time, I thought I wanted to die. When I think of it now, I think – what? Why did I want to die? That is crazy talk.
Then I come to my most recent memory and I can faintly recall the chills, stomach knots, hot head (possibly fever?), terrible retching, and other grossly violent acts (and vice versa) that my body underwent. The amazing thing is that I had a 1-1/2 hour meeting on a morning while I was still ill. By the way, I went to the meeting because I initially thought I had a hangover and I wouldn’t cancel a commitment with that excuse. And while I stepped out of the room every 20 minutes to keep myself from collapsing, I like to believe I maintained some composure (and decent posturing). Once I left the office though I totally crumpled up and became the most useless and lifeless THING. Actually, I am probably just simply psychologically prone to feeling weaker than I am capable of managing… and even though I can acknowledge it, I just FEEL so g*d-d*mn awful when I feel sick. Now that I have been feeling better, I wish I would just deal better but it’s hard to tell yourself that message when you feel so low!
Onto my update. During the remaining month of May, I was unsuccessful at accomplishing any part of my goal. However, I’m proud to say that I am having a more triumphant June!
Currently I have been working out nearly 3 days a week in the morning. I find it a refreshing change to simply come home and not having any more further obligations to concerns about ANYTHING. Because I’m trying so hard (actually we – my partner and I are both engaged in the new daily habits) to maintain the new routine, we have shunned anything that could cause any deviations. Like drinking or watching movies or watching anything sad or disturbing (ha). In fact, we’re so tired after dinner that we take a short walk and go to sleep sometimes as early at 9:00 PM and thereby getting almost 8 hours of sleep! This is very weird because 1) when we prepare to sleep, sometimes there is some remaining daylight, and 2) we find that we get more sleep than we normally did in our routine of working out after work. In fact, this routine is proving to us that working out in the evening does indeed pump up our metabolism thus making it harder for us to sleep in the evening. Well, at least for me.
I will write a little more about how I ended up reaching this milestone later, and there I will thank my partner for assisting me into achieving these goals. 🙂 I hope to maintain the routine as I find it pretty satisfying so far.
Leave a Reply