I have not been accomplishing what I’ve set out to do; that is, to workout in the morning once week. It amazes me how such a seemingly easy task that seems so insignificant becomes slowly impossible as each morning passes.
I know that my problem has always been centered around my previous night’s rest. And I haven’t been sleeping very well at night. Actually, for years….! It’s always in the quiet of the night when my mind starts racing and I get stuck in worry mode. Things like family issues, body image, and overall unpredictability of things makes me negative and sad.
One thing that helps me get to sleep is reading a really interesting yet difficult book. The book has to be something that I’m motivated enough to read, complicated enough to change my negative thoughts, and has an emotionally detached tone so I can tear myself away from the words. Lately that book is called Physics of the Impossible: A Scientific Exploration into the World of Phasers, Force Fields, Teleportation and Time Travel, by Michio Kaku. Previously I’ve read A General Theory of Love, by Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini and Richard Lannon. Both are fascinating reads, yet textbook-like so I am not left with any cliff-hangers or emotional turmoil that I need to resolve by turning yet another page. I recently read The Hunger Games triology by Suzanne Collins, and THAT did not help my sleep situation at all! But The Hunger Games books were so entertaining that they were worth the sleep deprivation I went through.
I also find that I’m really affected by tv and movie subject matter. Last year, I watched Lovely Bones and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (not knowing the subject matters), and I was tortured by the thoughts and images that I could not sleep well for days! I’m so much more sensitive than I thought I would be… unfortuantely those things physically affect me. As I’m re-reading some of the things I’ve just read, I’m shaking my head at myself because I feel like such a weak-minded individual confessing how these things affect me so dramatically. But I’m sure that a lot of people are affected by similar sleep issues, some of it self-inflicted. Right?
To be sure, I am darn proud of the fact that I go to sleep usually well before midnight. Trying to get to sleep 2 hours earlier than my usual midnight has been so far a hit or miss process though. I guess I should be resolved to going to bed at 9:30 PM to start reading my book. Fortunately I think I would enjoy this new task. And I guess I also have to force myself to get up earlier so I can tire myself out earlier. This morning-person conversion process is rough!
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